It’s 5 am. I’m rushing through the airport in Houston, trying to make my 6 am flight home to St. Louis, by way of Chicago. After taking a brief nap at my gate, it’s finally time to board. They’ve called my boarding group (of course I forgot to do early check in so I’m one of the last to get onto the plane). I’m finally on the plane walking down the aisle. The flight attendants have made the announcement that there are no more window or aisle seats, so if you see a seat, you should take it. I begin scanning from right to left and I actually find a seat.
“Excuse me, is this seat taken?”
I get all settled in because the flight is nearly 3 hours (I mean, I’m technically going to the opposite side of the country, so I guess that’s understandable). I’ve got my neck pillow and buckled my seat belt, so I’m as ready as I’ll ever be for take off. Of course like most Americans, I’ve put my headphones in before the flight attendant even begins her safety speech. Because I mean… why bother listening?
Our plane ascends into the clouds and so does my mind. I find myself drifting slowly into another world as my eyelids begin to feel as though there are ten-pound weights sitting atop of them.
In the midst of my slumber, I find my body temperature rising. With my eyes still shut tight, I gesture to take of my jacket (pulling just barely at my sleeves as to not accidentally touch either person sitting next to me). After successfully avoiding human contact and shedding my outer most layer of clothing, I try to return to whatever thoughts were holding my subconscious only moments before.
Moments pass and…again… I’m awakened as my body is permeating heat, fire! From the inside out and it feels like there is nothing I can do to escape this rush of heat.
My eyes fly open, with fear. I begin to take stock of my surroundings… Where am I? I’ve got to get out.. I’ve got to get away.
Thoughts: OMG do I have the Coronavirus I’ve been hearing grumblings about from news sources and colleagues? Fuck. I can’t recall what the symptoms are!!
As my eyes focus on the aisle, I think quickly and I hop out of my seat. “Excuse me.. excuse me sir. I’m going to just … yea can I get by you really quick?”
The lights are still dimmed in the cabin, because the sun has yet to rise. But I know there’s a restroom in the back because I’ve been on my fair share of flights. So I take aim. I’m standing up in the middle of the aisle… Only… as I stare towards the back of the plane, my vision suddenly gets blurry.
Am I on a scary movie? One where the hall never ends and it’s dark at the end… so you don’t really know what you’re walking into? But I’ve got to do something. This isn’t right. I’ve never felt this way before in my life.
I begin my trek to safety and with each step I take, I find myself slipping… in and out.. the world is moving around me. Too much… I attempt to put one foot in front of the other but I find myself unable to keep my eyes open. All of the strength has left my body. I’m falling over, but not really. There’s no space. The aisle is so small. (Really these airlines to should be ashamed.) I’m touching people. Disturbing and scaring others as they rest before beginning their long day. People are pushing me off of them. No one helps. No one wants to be disturbed. I can’t talk. I can’t describe the fear that is mounting inside of me. I can’t fix my lips to say I’m sorry. I can’t see anything. I can’t do anything.
help.
please.
I’m so scared.
There’s somebody touching me as I get closer to the back of the plane. My left arm is being touched by someone.. but who? How? No one can possibly be walking with me down this lil’ ass aisle. There is barely enough space for me.
I finally make it to the lavatory and I lean on the wall. I’m grasping for air at this time… I just want to close my eyes. It’s okay if I don’t wake up again. I just need to escape this feeling, this torture. Now. Hush little baby, don’t you cry.
help, I say with my eyes.
The flight attendant touches my forehead. “My GOD!” She looks to the other attendant and says, “She is burning up! Do you have on a under shirt? Can we take this off?” I do my attempt at nodding my head. They each begin pulling at me. I’m using the wall of the restroom to hold myself up at this point. BARELY. I’m down to my tank top and bra.
This is not better. I feel trapped in a burning house with no exit.
Please help me.
I’m breathing heavily. I’m crying. I’m afraid. They’re asking me questions. I can’t answer them. Has this ever happened before? Do you have any medical conditions? Are you taking any medicine? Is this your first flight? Are you scared? No. I’m shaking my head.
This has never happened before. I promise. It’s never happened to me before. What is happening?
The flight attendant on the left has wet something and put it on my forehead. She reaches to hand me a cup of ice water. I try to hold it. My arms are too weak. Flaccid, like old celery. Useless extensions of my body. Pieces of shit.
Bitch I’m dying, why are you making me hold stuff? I think to myself.
Call my brother. He will fix it. Please.
I have no strength. My fingers are numb. But its getting better. Less overwhelming.
Maybe I’m not dying? Whoops, false alarm God. I ain’t coming home today.
But I am coming to. I look at the flight attendant to my right. What. .. What was that? They look at each other. “I don’t know.” She says.
Ah. So reassuring. I can’t Google it. I don’t have internet on the plane. fuck.
The one to my left hands me a bag of pretzels and says, “Have you eaten anything? “No, I haven’t… its 5am and I wasn’t hungry and I was rushing to get on the plane.” “Well”, she says. “Maybe that’s it. Maybe your blood sugar just dropped?”
Nah.
astoldbymickb 